


"Don't Wink!"

by janai



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien Snot, Fluff, Gen, hair angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22864537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janai/pseuds/janai
Summary: Rose and the Doctor encounter a sticky situation during a mission.
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor & Rose Tyler
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	"Don't Wink!"

**Author's Note:**

> Please pardon any grammatical error's...I was flustered trying the finish the last paragraph for Return to Titanic. With too much caffeine in my system, I decided to take a break and finish this little story up. Whew!

"You have got to be kidding me!" the Doctor growled in disbelief. "Seriously??"  


The Doctor was sprawled out on the rocks overlooking the the water. His midriff, and the ground on each side of his body, was coated with a viscous yellow/green substance that gleamed dully in the weak sunlight. The back of his head rested on a large log and in a puddle of the same gross looking stuff. He was trying to lift said head but he couldn't, the stuff had dried to a resin like material. He heard a giggle slightly to the left of his body and rolled his eyes.  


"Rose! Not funny!" he growled, "They are going to have to shave my hair off to get me out of this muck!"  


Rose Tyler was sprawled partially under him and pinned by a layer of the stuff over her hips. It was because of him that they were stuck to the ground with what amounted to be alien snot. 

They had been tracking a pair of very large aliens known as Blugarians who had been running amok in the seaside town of Broadchurch. When they caught up with the blue and green colored creatures, the Doctor had raised his arms in a gesture of peace. Of course he knew their language and was trying to get them to calm down and go with them to Torchwood 3. When he had finished talking he had winked at the pair and smiled. 

"Don't wink!" Rose cried out but it was too late. Before she could intervene the male, identified by the red crest on his potato shaped head, had roared in obvious anger. The Doctor had thrown himself in front of her as the creature sucked in a huge breath of air. With a noise between a snort and a sneeze, the Blugarian blew out a massive spray of goop from its huge proboscis. The slime had hit them with enough force to knock them off their feet. Within seconds, the stuff had dried and they were stuck to the ground; the creatures had run off down the beach, to make good their escape.  


"Arrghhh!" the Doctor cried out in frustration and started cursing in Gallifreyan. He was trying to break his arms free to assess just how much snot was in his hair. His gorgeous head of hair which had been so nicely fluffed and spiky that morning!  


Rose raised her head to see that the back of his hair was indeed saturated with the stuff; a dollop had even hit his fringe, gluing it to his forehead. She saw that his face was red as he lay there muttering curses. Now that the danger was past, it was all very funny to her. She decided that she should show her husband some sympathy and support in his time of need.  


"S'okay, love," she said soothingly, "M' sure the lab will find somethin' to remove if from your hair. Your not the first person to get hit with tha' stuff."  


"Blugarian mucus is like super glue," he whined. "They will have to shave my hair off...an....an...." His voice trailed off with a gulp and she could see a tear run down his temple.  


"Doctor. Are you...crying?" she asked in disbelief.  


"No, of course I'm not! I'm fine, no problem, Molto bene, fantastic..." he sniffed unconvincingly and she held back another giggle. It was not his fault that he did not know what he had done wrong. 

"Doctor, ya don't wink at a Blugarian female," she advised, "Here it's considered a courting gesture." She had to make sure Jake took a picture of this before they were released. It would be good bribing material if she needed it in the future.  


"How was I supposed to know that?!" he huffed. "Back home a wink is considered a gesture of respect!" He knew he had made a mistake as soon as the large,hulking male had turned red on its chest, a sign of fury with that species. "Though," he said thoughtfully, "I think she may have been flattered a wee bit." behind him, Rose started rolling her eyes.  


The sound of two vehicles roaring to a screeching halt ended any further conversation between the couple. They could hear the rest of their team as they ran towards them. 

The Calvary had arrived! 

"Oh, thank God!" Rose cried out in relief. 

"Rose, Doctor, are you alright?" They heard Jake's worried voice as he ran towards them. He skidded to a stop in a cloud of dirt at the sight that met his eyes. The Doctor, very unhappy and Rose, looking very relieved. She raised her head to see the emotions flickering across his youthful face as he stared at them in amazement. She glanced at the Doctor to see that he glaring at Jake; the younger man was trying very hard not to laugh.  


"Don't!" The Doctor admonished, "just, don't." The Oncoming Storm was in his eyes but Jake ignored it and smirked slightly.  


"Right," Jake schooled his expression, a glint of pure mischief in his eyes. He decided that this was going to be too good an opportunity to pass up. 

"Toms, Rory!" he shouted to the men who stood by the vehicles. "Grab tha' heat guns, saws, chisels and a ...very sharp razor blade!"  


"WHAT??" The Doctor cried out in panic, struggling against the snot. "NO! Jake, don't you dare! Don't even think of it!!"  


Rose laid her head back onto the ground and started laughing; things were about to get very, very interesting indeed!  


Epilogue: 

Much to the Doctors chagrin they did have to cut enough hair off the the back of his head to release him from the log. Much to the relief of the Doctor, they managed to remove the snot lump pinning down his fringe. 

However, once more to his chagrin, he did wind up getting a high-and-tight haircut so he did not look like a moth eaten teddy bear. 

Happily, being part-Gallifreyan and a metacrisis, his hair grew out to its former splendor in 16 days. 

Fin


End file.
